The Realities of Exercising with Chronic Illness
Before I get into this, I just want to say that this blog is written from my personal experience and is written with the acknowledgment of my privilege of being able to exercise with my illnesses, I am fully aware that this is not the case for so many.
I have always loved exercise, in all its forms, particularly playing sport. Also, being completely honest, I have always been a stubborn wagon. I think it’s the combination of these things that allowed me to keep moving through pain, long before I understood it was medically necessary for me to push through pain, and long before pain graduated from an intermittent annoyance to a constant companion.
I’ve always been flexible. Flexibility as a child was a fun party trick, and later in sport it was useful too. But then the injuries starting piling up, with sprained & stiff fingers, and knees too sore to be bothered trying to participate any more.
No Pain, No Gain?
I always remember wondering why my body ached and injured so much, but I was a teenager at this stage, with fun to be had off the court & pitch so I just… gave it up. Period pains, headaches and gastro upsets coupled with teenage angst meant I was too morto to push myself with exercise.
Then along came my early 20s and the pursuit of thinness sent me straight to the gym, hot yoga and I rediscovered a love of running. With those ridiculous “No pain no gain” slogans everywhere (including my own bloody Instagram account), I thought giving in to pain, especially period pain was “weak”, and I pushed and pushed and ignored every cry for help from my body. For 10 years. Until I couldn’t anymore.
I was incapacitated by workouts I used to breeze through, I couldn’t stand up without dizziness, never mind run, and my joints screamed in yoga. 2 hour post training naps became a necessity. Injuries came in thick and fast and over the span of the last 9 years I have been in and out of hospitals, consultant offices, surgeries, and recoveries both here and abroad.
For a time, the thought of moving my body became terrifying. I blamed exercise for my pain and avoided it like the plague. But I got sicker anyway. I got curious and hit the research. I began reading and learning all about the human body, and I discovered that although exercise couldn’t cure my illnesses, it could both prevent me developing other issues, as well as being a pain management tool.
A New Mindset
Literally and figuratively ripping the plaster off, I decided to move again. Very cautiously this time, mind you. Ego had to be left by the door. It took so long to change my mindset, but against my better judgement I eventually began to enjoy the slow. The joy in feeling a little more stable, the relief when I listened to my body, took the modifications that had been available to me all along, and even finding new ones along the way.
And the new mindset was key. Being okay with having to stop, or change tack, starting over again. Smiling on my shuffle runs, just happy to be moving forward at all. Relearning that there is strength in recognising and working on weaknesses. The biggest win for me was this newfound trust in my body. A realisation that the pain was a signal not a punishment, and acceptance that it was here to stay. It was up to me to find ways to work with it, rather than force my body into places it no longer wanted to be. It is endlessly difficult, but I’m grateful to be doing it.
